Wedding Industrial Complex

Ok, because of the current state of the economy in the US, I thought this would be a good time to bring this up. I am a budget bride. Before I started all of this, I had no idea what weddings cost. Depending on who you talk to, the average cost of a wedding in the US is between $14 and $43 thousand. Now some people say that the higher numbers come from polling by wedding magazines and wedding websites, which are sure to skew the numbers a little. Brides with lower budgets are probably not participating or responding to these sorts of surveys.
It pains me to spend that amount of money on a wedding. Not when there are so many people in our world who don't know where their next meal is coming from. Some days I feel like not having a wedding at all, and other days I get caught up into the hype the WIC feeds us all. It's a difficult struggle for me. I want to make my family happy, but I want to put a cap on the spending as well. We were lucky to be given a fairly large budget from both sets of parents. However, I feel that it is not necessary to spend all of this- we have a house and other responsibilities.
I know I got a little bridezilla- ish when searching for the perfect venue. It just so happens that the place I fell in love with costs over $3,000 in rental fees. It is really hard for me to justify this cost- which is why I've been so back and forth on the whole eloping/ destination wedding thing. However, I feel like its all or nothing. I either want to elope, or have the beautiful wedding of my dreams. There is no option that lets me have a big party in my parents' backyard. I kind of wish I would feel very decisively one way or another. My ambivalence is making it difficult to start planning.
But in the end, I want my family there. I want my 92 year old great- grandmother to watch us say our vows. I want my parents (yes, both of them) to walk me down the aisle as a sign of love, not to give me away. I want my cousins to tear up the dance floor.
Next up- how I try to have the wedding that I want without all the bills....